Stories
October 16, 2017

Paul and walking

Paul led me to conclude that walking is overrated.  It was something that we were really concerned about when we got the initial diagnosis, at birth.  Our kid would be different, and it would be obvious because he wouldn’t be…
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Stories
October 9, 2017

Waves

So...I was drinking coffee yesterday out of my new mug and thinking. Thinking about Paul and about how people have likened grief to riding waves. It's pretty accurate really. One moment I'll be fine and the next moment grief washes over…
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Stories
October 8, 2017

Paul and Me

One of the things that we have to do after losing a child is find a new definition of who we are. I was primarily Paul’s Dad, especially after Paige left for college. I need to find a new identity…
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Stories
October 5, 2017

Paul Starting Out

I never wanted to be the Dad of the handicapped kid. No one really asks for that. Growing up, they were the kids in the separate room, at the end of the hall at school. I think that I was…
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Stories
October 1, 2017

Paul Stood Out

Paul didn’t stand for the National Anthem. We went to a few sporting events each year, and that was an awkward 2 minutes for us. Kathie would get irritated when they said, “Please stand for the National Anthem”. She thought…
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Stories
September 26, 2017

Paul and Help

Paul needed a lot of help sometimes, and I enjoyed helping him. I have nearly infinite patience for most things, especially for him, and I could usually discern what he really needed. Sometimes he would act like he needed more…
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Stories
September 22, 2017

Paul Out Loud

Thank you to everyone who has reached out to me since I started writing these. I admit it has led to some awkward and emotional interactions. Awkwardness never really bothered me and I admit I kind of enjoy and appreciate…
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Stories
September 18, 2017

Paul and Grieving

Most days we are functioning a little better now. Yesterday we had our first sled hockey event, just an equipment inventory, and it was way more emotional than a hockey event like that should be. Today Kathie went to her…
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Stories
September 14, 2017

Paul and Paige

Paige was born 5 years before Paul. She was not only the lone child for those 5 years, but the only grandchild for Ken and Sue. They had plenty of time and disposable income to spoil their “one and only…
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Stories
September 12, 2017

Paul and Scars

Paul had a bunch of scars. His back from his closure. Big like a horizontal zipper. His head and chest and stomach from shunt revisions. The front of his neck from his tracheotomy, a little hole by his voice box.…
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